Saturday, October 3, 2009


I have to apologize for being so busy that I let my performance on this blog suffer. I had a whirl whin of a week and have to share what God did for me.

First I've had alot of trouble with my lymph-nodes, and I finally had enough of trying to figure out what it was. So I went to my doctor who said that I needed to see a hematologist(blood doctor), and an oncologist( cancer specialist). I was completely fine until he said the word oncologist. At that moment I literally felt the air being slowly let out of me. I speed dialed aunt debbie who as usual was saying Beth don't panic until you know what it is. Of course I had ot track her down and she prayed with me and I felt a little better. But I could not get the thought of your going to die out of my head. Well little did I know that the God I so lovingly serve had already started writing my next days.

That night I was in total terror. I couldn't let my mind rest and I also could not find the strength to simply ask God to calm the storm for me and transform me while I was venturing into this new wilderness.
I was on Facebook as I usually am, and frantically searching for familar faces to calm the storms for me.(which is not a good idea) But I had a welcome apology and much needed anti-anxiety.

Thursday I had to take Levi to get his chicken pox shot, and the health department where we live couldn't do it because we have insurance. So I took him to my mama's and she said call the one here Beth and see what they say. I did and they had the shot and it was a mess trying ot get them to see him. I had to go back four hours later for him to get the shot he needed.

The nurse that was helping me with levi's information had heard me say the doctors that I needed to see, and she politely said are you scared. It wasn't a question it was more and acussation of how dare you be scared. I told her I was terrified which was a 100% true, but i'm not the one who writes my days. She chucked and said I knew you were one of us this morning when you handled that situation so well.

The next nurse was christian as well obviously. soon after levi had his shots both nurses came into the room with us and grabbed our hands and prayed. It was the most calming feeling I've ever experienced. Then when it was just me and the second nurse in the room she said to me your going ot be ok regardless of how hard the road looks. I nodded. Then she said its reassuring to know that the same God who saved me so many years ago i can see dwelling in you.
Then when I went into the room with the first nurse again she said basically the same thing the previous woman had said. Then she said something that brought me to tears. I see my Jesus radiating through you.

Luke 12:22; Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? .

If he has brought me to it he will lead his child through it.


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