Wednesday, March 7, 2012

letting go

Today was just another wonderful example of my Daddy's love for me.

I started a new chapter in my life today, and I have to admit that anytime you try to change an attitude, behavior, or a certain way of doing things it's going to be painful.

I'm not going into details on this because it is so personal and intimate for me and honestly I have a hard enough time saying it outloud to myself much less posting it to cyberspace. I'm learning that sometimes its better to let things air out then it is to just puf them in a box and shove them to the far corner of our mind ....

It's time for something different, but mostly its time for me to finally figure out who I am as a person and what I like and what I dont like.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

White as snow

Yesterday I learned a very valuable lesson, just because Jesus has forgiven you does not mean the world around you has forgotten. Galatians 6:7 says you will always harvest what you plant. As a believer I've always been conscience of the fact that just because I belong to Jesus Christ does not mean that there aren't consequences for my actions. In fact being a daughter of the king and an heir to the throne of the most precious being, means that my consequences or as I like to call it my daddy gently pulling me back to where I need to be, are immediate. In 1 Peter 2:21 we are told to follow Christ's example and follow His step.We all fall far short. We have not attained to His level of perfection, and yet we "follow after" and "press toward the mark" (Phil. 3:12-14). God has given us a pattern, well a mark to shoot for so to speak, which is all I'm trying to do.

I awoke yesterday morning thinking it was going to be a wonderful day, only to have that thought completely ripped to shreds. and believe me that is putting it lightly. someone decided it was a great idea to put somethings on my FB that not only were very private and personal but half of the information was completely bogus. They made reference to the fact that this isn't high school anymore, and that it wasn't necessary to fabricate things for attention. Let me just say that if I meet the girl I was in high school now I would put my bible on the shelf, put my church clothes in a garbage bag and you would never see me darken the doors at any church. I did become very upset,and pleaded with my daddy to make me understand what I had done that I needed this to happen in the manner that it did. I have a full plate I am taking the state nursing entrance exam this month, my to do list is about a mile long.

I ended up at a very special lady's house who since I can't get her on the phone I will not put her name in this. For converstaion purposes I will just call her RL. The first words out of RL's mouth were I just want you to know that whatever you tell me will stay with me unless you tell me otherwise. I felt completely at ease at that moment. I did go into my testimony which you all know I dont' do on a regular basis, mostly because of the condoning looks I get after. I ended up spending the better part of the morning with her. Words can not expalin how comfortable I was with her. I saw not the first hint of judgement in her face I did see a tiny bit of disbelief because to look at me you'd never know what went on before I was a believer. The bible says in Proverbs 31:10-31 what a virtous woman is. She is up before the sun preparing the day for her family, she does tasks with an eagerness to Glorify our father, and she opens her home. I am externally grateful to RL for showing me what a virtuous woman is. She not only was my shoulder, my prayer partner, and so much more that I could never explain in words. She opened her home to me, lovely little me who to her really was a stranger and shared my pain and eased my burden. And I will never be able to show how thankful I was for that.

I have to say this next part because I know I can't be the only person on this planet that feels this way. I am not who I used to be I'm not where I should be, but thank you Jesus I'm know where near where I started. As Jesus said to the crowd " let he who is without sin cast the first stone."