Tuesday, February 23, 2010


I learned a very valuable lesson today.... I am a horrible person.

I never in a million years thought that I would be back where I started. I hurt somebody today without even realzing it until it was pointed out. THe conversation lasted 47 seconds, it took 47 seconds for my world to come crashing down around me.

I can apologize till im blue in the face and that doesnt change anything. I love this person dearly, I pray for her more than I pray for myself. And yet I let my hurt feelings get in the way,and instead of clearing things up before they got ugly It just got bigger and bigger with the casualties at two first her then me. It's all the strength I can must to get this out now, so that the other 23 people in the room dont see my ghost white face stained by the tears that are steadily trickling down my face. I can not believe that after all I learned i feel liike I'm back at the starting line.

What have I really learned if I let my emotions get in the way. there is no excuse for it and no reason for it either. I have hurt someone and I swore never again would I intentionally hurt somebody but apparently i did today without even realizing it. how selfish is that How do you hurt somebody and not even realize it until they point it out in a tearful less than a minute conversation.

Lamentations 3:22-24

The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him.

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