One of my best and truely SOUL'd out friends in christ, Vee Vee, has gotten into the habbit of texting me something inspiring everymorning and today i feel lead to share with you what he sent to me.
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination! God has given us so many gifts.. use them for his Glory. Arrogance leads to failure.
I want to share this amazing experience God gave me last night and really all day yesterday.
I had a panic attack over things once again that I can't control. My teacher J. Ware said something to me yesterday that really hit me and really stuck. She said fortunatly for us we serve a God who can and will carry all our burden's for us. It took a stranger to remind me that he is God and I am not. Oh how amazing that feels to say how liberating it is to say. He is God and I am not.
She also told me that when she was in high school and college she always prayed for her pencil and it calmed her. I thought it was silly and I laughed at her a little. Then today I had my first test in U.S. History Since 1865, and before i started my test I prayed this silly little prayer, " Lord calm my nerves help me to remember what i've learned and a please point my pencil in the right direction. My hand couldn't move fast enough to keep up with the overwhelming knowlegde that seemed to becoming directly out of my pencil.
yall know that I'm terrified of never getting married and at my age it shouldn't really be an issue well last night the almighty sent me an anything but silent message. At my bible study the speaker said we are married to the maker. How amazing was that feeling to me. I am married to the master of the universe. His love for me is so great that he made sure I got to that bible study and heard the speaker say: He will allure us into the wilderness so that we may fall in love with him and he will marry us once and for all our lives. Some of you are probably freaking out right now but it was and is the most incredible feeling I have every felt.
And I will sow her for Myself anew in the land, and I will have love, pity, and mercy for her who had not obtained love, pity, and mercy; and I will say to those who were not My people, You are My people, and they shall say, You are my God! Hosea 2: 23
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Running low
It's one of those days when everything goes wrong.... First i overslept because I was up reading a wonderful book by Francine Rivers. I'm completely in love with everything she writes so thank you aunt debbie for adding more to my reading list.
The work load of this college student has just doubled up a little bit and I'm running low on a lot of things money, time, and faith.
I bought my first Barlowgirl CD yesterday and I was amazed at how much better I felt after I listened to it but it didn't do that for me today. I need more. I didnt have my quiet time today which is not a good thing. My days drag on and on when i dont have one and like most days when I don't start it with my father it has been awful. I need his reassurace and I'm just not TRUSTING him enough to do it. I'm only nineteen and I swear for the last week i've been having hot flashes. I feel a panic attack coming on but i fighting tooth and nail mostly because it's embarrassing and I have enough to worry about other than having a literally body breakdown of epic proportions.
I need a little more faith. I know somebody reading this knows what i'm talking about.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. (Isaiah 43:1-3)
Here's hoping that somebody needs this as much as i do!
The work load of this college student has just doubled up a little bit and I'm running low on a lot of things money, time, and faith.
I bought my first Barlowgirl CD yesterday and I was amazed at how much better I felt after I listened to it but it didn't do that for me today. I need more. I didnt have my quiet time today which is not a good thing. My days drag on and on when i dont have one and like most days when I don't start it with my father it has been awful. I need his reassurace and I'm just not TRUSTING him enough to do it. I'm only nineteen and I swear for the last week i've been having hot flashes. I feel a panic attack coming on but i fighting tooth and nail mostly because it's embarrassing and I have enough to worry about other than having a literally body breakdown of epic proportions.
I need a little more faith. I know somebody reading this knows what i'm talking about.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. (Isaiah 43:1-3)
Here's hoping that somebody needs this as much as i do!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Healing
I feel lead today to write on healing. Over the last few days I've taken stock of my own heartaches and heartbreaks. This week in particular has been a challenge for me.
I don't know if I've said this before, but if I have I'm saying it again. When I graduated highschool this internal alarm went off and it said it's time to find a husband your getting old. Which I now see as ridiculous but at the time it seemed extremely important.
Over the last few weeks it seems like everybody I know has gotten an engagement ring. Which I was thrilled for them don't get me wrong,but at the same time it broke my heart. Which in turn made me feel extremely guilty. I've shared this with my circle many times over the last few weeks but it didn't make me feel any better about it.
This past Thursday was in alot of ways the straw that broke the camel's back, it's the only visual i can come up with at this moment. I had lunch with one of my dearest and she revealed to me that she knew the ring she was getting. I put on a smile and listened as she went on about every detail, and on the inside I was torn into pieces. The moment I had pulled myself back together just in time to go to my next class, I had just enough time to sit down and say I swear if one more person gets engaged I do believe I will lose it. You all know just how humorous our God is, and the moment I said that I should've known that he would show me.
Three minutes later another dear friend came and sat down and shoved her hand in my face. I felt like I had been shot with a .38. She told me the whole story and I smiled and put on the most elaborate mask of my life. meanwhile one of my ex's text me and wanted to know what I was doing and I had no problem telling him that i was looking at yet another ring on another friends finger. he thought it was funny, i did not. He then sent the words that put me over the edge: you still think your the marrying kind. ......... I got so upset my nose started bleeding. All feeling had literally left my body. I cried the entire way home.
As is my pattern my circle were the first people to attempt to console me. It's not that I'm jealous or mad that they have seemingly found happiness already. As a woman of God, and living the life I'm living and following God's instructions I couldn't help but think where's mine?
I'm using this verse to help heal the open wound. Maybe it will do some good for one of you too.
Psalms 147:3; He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Beth
I don't know if I've said this before, but if I have I'm saying it again. When I graduated highschool this internal alarm went off and it said it's time to find a husband your getting old. Which I now see as ridiculous but at the time it seemed extremely important.
Over the last few weeks it seems like everybody I know has gotten an engagement ring. Which I was thrilled for them don't get me wrong,but at the same time it broke my heart. Which in turn made me feel extremely guilty. I've shared this with my circle many times over the last few weeks but it didn't make me feel any better about it.
This past Thursday was in alot of ways the straw that broke the camel's back, it's the only visual i can come up with at this moment. I had lunch with one of my dearest and she revealed to me that she knew the ring she was getting. I put on a smile and listened as she went on about every detail, and on the inside I was torn into pieces. The moment I had pulled myself back together just in time to go to my next class, I had just enough time to sit down and say I swear if one more person gets engaged I do believe I will lose it. You all know just how humorous our God is, and the moment I said that I should've known that he would show me.
Three minutes later another dear friend came and sat down and shoved her hand in my face. I felt like I had been shot with a .38. She told me the whole story and I smiled and put on the most elaborate mask of my life. meanwhile one of my ex's text me and wanted to know what I was doing and I had no problem telling him that i was looking at yet another ring on another friends finger. he thought it was funny, i did not. He then sent the words that put me over the edge: you still think your the marrying kind. ......... I got so upset my nose started bleeding. All feeling had literally left my body. I cried the entire way home.
As is my pattern my circle were the first people to attempt to console me. It's not that I'm jealous or mad that they have seemingly found happiness already. As a woman of God, and living the life I'm living and following God's instructions I couldn't help but think where's mine?
I'm using this verse to help heal the open wound. Maybe it will do some good for one of you too.
Psalms 147:3; He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Beth
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Wild
I want you all to know that I am doing an amazing bible study at my church called One in a Million. Last night God was speaking directly to me.
I was tired of being tested and feeling like I failed in someway. Situations that I thought I was done with, relationships I thought were over seemed to all at once be coming to the front line right in front of my face. I couldn't help but think I did not sign on for this. Amazingly that is what the bible study was on last night. It's a Priscilla Shirer, and she said those exact words God this is not what I signed on for. What spoke to me was that we are all in either one of three places we are about to go into the wilderness, we are in the wilderness, or we are just coming out of the wilderness. Which is so true.
The same God that helped me yesterday, can and will help me today. I needed to hear that and I hope somebody else needed to hear that to. We are all in the wilderness of life. God intends for us to be in the wilderness. you wanna know why now right. When we are faced with what seems to be impossible situations and if God doesn't do something we are going to be in a mess then we have no choice but to simply say God please take this I can't do it.
And in reality he wants us to do just that. Hand him every little thing that we need and I promise he will give you what you need. What if? Shouldn't even be in our vocabulary. But it is.
I needed to hear that. I have been literally scared and afraid for about two weeks now and I was at the point where I was just going to give in. Yet through his tender love he showed me that I'm still here. I have not handed you more than you can handle. Do what I told you to do and I will take care of the rest.
But he told me: "My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak." So I will brag even more about my weaknesses in order that Christ's power will live in me. Therefore, I accept weakness, mistreatment, hardship, persecution, and difficulties suffered for Christ. It's clear that when I'm weak, I'm strong. (2 Corinthians 12.-9-10)
I was tired of being tested and feeling like I failed in someway. Situations that I thought I was done with, relationships I thought were over seemed to all at once be coming to the front line right in front of my face. I couldn't help but think I did not sign on for this. Amazingly that is what the bible study was on last night. It's a Priscilla Shirer, and she said those exact words God this is not what I signed on for. What spoke to me was that we are all in either one of three places we are about to go into the wilderness, we are in the wilderness, or we are just coming out of the wilderness. Which is so true.
The same God that helped me yesterday, can and will help me today. I needed to hear that and I hope somebody else needed to hear that to. We are all in the wilderness of life. God intends for us to be in the wilderness. you wanna know why now right. When we are faced with what seems to be impossible situations and if God doesn't do something we are going to be in a mess then we have no choice but to simply say God please take this I can't do it.
And in reality he wants us to do just that. Hand him every little thing that we need and I promise he will give you what you need. What if? Shouldn't even be in our vocabulary. But it is.
I needed to hear that. I have been literally scared and afraid for about two weeks now and I was at the point where I was just going to give in. Yet through his tender love he showed me that I'm still here. I have not handed you more than you can handle. Do what I told you to do and I will take care of the rest.
But he told me: "My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak." So I will brag even more about my weaknesses in order that Christ's power will live in me. Therefore, I accept weakness, mistreatment, hardship, persecution, and difficulties suffered for Christ. It's clear that when I'm weak, I'm strong. (2 Corinthians 12.-9-10)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Faith
I learned a long time ago that fear and faith can't go exist and that sometimes you have to literally swallow fear and take a step forward in faith.
As you can probably already tell faith is going to be the topic of conversation today.
When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. Psalm 138:3
Eventhough I know that God is faithful and will never leave me it still renders me speechless that he is so faithful to me when I'm not always faithful to him. I think that most of you will be able to relate to what I'm saying. I've been more fearful and therefore faithless in the last two weeks than I have been for most of my life. Things got rocky as they often do in life and the mess got bigger and just when I thought I'd forgotten something God showed me well no your still holding on to it just a little bit. I'm shaking now writing this.
In moments of weakness the man downstairs take advantage and if you let him he will take over. i've done some absolutly horrible things when I was scared. This is the one time that I can truthfully say that I didn't look for the fastest way out. I actually searched scripture and let God show me what to do. I did at times get discouraged and dismayed but I'm still standing on the promises of God. I want you to remember that as you go through the day and life well life happens and place that verse in your mind that he will answer you. I find it so comforting to know that no matter what else falls apart my God will never leave me to fight my battles alone.
As you can probably already tell faith is going to be the topic of conversation today.
When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. Psalm 138:3
Eventhough I know that God is faithful and will never leave me it still renders me speechless that he is so faithful to me when I'm not always faithful to him. I think that most of you will be able to relate to what I'm saying. I've been more fearful and therefore faithless in the last two weeks than I have been for most of my life. Things got rocky as they often do in life and the mess got bigger and just when I thought I'd forgotten something God showed me well no your still holding on to it just a little bit. I'm shaking now writing this.
In moments of weakness the man downstairs take advantage and if you let him he will take over. i've done some absolutly horrible things when I was scared. This is the one time that I can truthfully say that I didn't look for the fastest way out. I actually searched scripture and let God show me what to do. I did at times get discouraged and dismayed but I'm still standing on the promises of God. I want you to remember that as you go through the day and life well life happens and place that verse in your mind that he will answer you. I find it so comforting to know that no matter what else falls apart my God will never leave me to fight my battles alone.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
In case any of you were wondering why I haven't posted since thursday, let me help you. Friday morning I had wisdom teeth removed and now look like a chipmunk. I am thankful that God saw fit to be merciful with me and did not allow me to be in a tremendous amount of pain. at least not physically.
I want to talk about bondage today, and let me clarify this by stating that I mean spiritual bondage not physical bondage. As I wrote a couple of days ago, I've been struggling with a conflict that I thought I'd handed over to God. Through his wisdom he showed me that maybe he wasn't done with that situation.
In the last couple of weeks I don't mind sharing that I have become very aware of when and how God is moving and bringing things to me. In his own way he's shown me that there are a few things that I haven't completely dealt with and therefore however insignificant they may seem they still inhibit my growth with my Father. If I allow it to it can and will destroy me inside and out. Through the unfailing love of my king and eternal savior I have come to know the steps I need to take in order to grow with him, and be free.
Daniel 6:27; He sets people free and saves them. He does miraculous signs and wonders. He does them in the heavens and on the earth. He has saved david from the power of the lions."
I can not believe the overwhelming feeling the God has filled me with and the knowledge that he truely has everything under control.
I want to talk about bondage today, and let me clarify this by stating that I mean spiritual bondage not physical bondage. As I wrote a couple of days ago, I've been struggling with a conflict that I thought I'd handed over to God. Through his wisdom he showed me that maybe he wasn't done with that situation.
In the last couple of weeks I don't mind sharing that I have become very aware of when and how God is moving and bringing things to me. In his own way he's shown me that there are a few things that I haven't completely dealt with and therefore however insignificant they may seem they still inhibit my growth with my Father. If I allow it to it can and will destroy me inside and out. Through the unfailing love of my king and eternal savior I have come to know the steps I need to take in order to grow with him, and be free.
Daniel 6:27; He sets people free and saves them. He does miraculous signs and wonders. He does them in the heavens and on the earth. He has saved david from the power of the lions."
I can not believe the overwhelming feeling the God has filled me with and the knowledge that he truely has everything under control.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Rebuilding and Healing
This is not exactly what I intended to post today and yet somehow God has shown me that I will fix your relationships but in my time not yours.
How many of us have said ok Lord if it's not your will to fix this, then please show me how to let it go.. can't be just me... and how many of us have gone a few months and then finally we hand it to him and we're so relieved and feel so much better and all is right with the world..... then he hands is back.
I've never handed him anything and had him hand it back to me. Until yesterday. I'm not going pretend that my initail reaction wasn't a horrible one. The gut reaction I recieved was one of feeling sick. I couldn't understand why he had handed it back to me. Then today I was despirately searching for a verse in the bible on confilcts with brothers in christ and thanks to the wonderful Cheryl I found my answer in Matthew 18:15-16:If your brother sins against you,[a] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.
Sometimes we have to help ourselves by following God's words exactly and then only then will he deliever what we ask.
In the moment of panic I thought my father had forgotten me and was somehow punishing me. Yet I have learned that he was only showing his child in his mercyfull and loving way that I skipped a step and you can't hand it to me until you do exactly what I've told you to do.
The moral of the story is read your directions nad you can't go wrong especially when it's the direct word of God.
How many of us have said ok Lord if it's not your will to fix this, then please show me how to let it go.. can't be just me... and how many of us have gone a few months and then finally we hand it to him and we're so relieved and feel so much better and all is right with the world..... then he hands is back.
I've never handed him anything and had him hand it back to me. Until yesterday. I'm not going pretend that my initail reaction wasn't a horrible one. The gut reaction I recieved was one of feeling sick. I couldn't understand why he had handed it back to me. Then today I was despirately searching for a verse in the bible on confilcts with brothers in christ and thanks to the wonderful Cheryl I found my answer in Matthew 18:15-16:If your brother sins against you,[a] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.
Sometimes we have to help ourselves by following God's words exactly and then only then will he deliever what we ask.
In the moment of panic I thought my father had forgotten me and was somehow punishing me. Yet I have learned that he was only showing his child in his mercyfull and loving way that I skipped a step and you can't hand it to me until you do exactly what I've told you to do.
The moral of the story is read your directions nad you can't go wrong especially when it's the direct word of God.
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